STIMULATE is thrilled to honor Wanda Cotie among our 21 Trailblazing Female Founders as part of our 2025 celebration of International Women’s Day – which was March 8th. Collectively, each of the women represented are disrupting and supporting sexual wellness in a variety of ways with their own, unique contributions to the professional community of sexual wellbeing. Cotie, a longtime specialty store operator with multiple shops in Canada, has recently launched Femme Flexor, a pelvic floor trainer that has a patented design, empowering users to connect with their strength anytime, anywhere—without reliance on electronics.
Get to know Cotie and join STIMULATE in applauding her for her bold and outstanding support in sexual health and wellbeing.
Q: Every story has its own beginning. How did your journey bring you to this vast and wonderful world of sexual health and wellness?
Cotie: I began my journey as a leader in non-traditional adult retail, pioneering a female-led shop designed to break taboos and challenge the patriarchy that had long dominated the industry. As a mother to three daughters, I wanted to change the narrative around sexual health and empowerment. I was among the first retailers to openly explore BDSM and power dynamics, creating a space where education, consent, and self-discovery were at the forefront.
Q: Being an entrepreneur certainly has highs and lows, but the drive to keep pushing through is what keeps so many entrepreneurs motivated. What drive keeps you inspired on your professional journey?
Cotie: Every human being has the right to recognize their own perfection—just as they are. My mission has always been to normalize conversations around sex, power dynamics, and consent, because understanding these elements is key to reclaiming autonomy. Sex can be both liberating and disempowering, and for too many, past trauma shapes their relationship with intimacy in ways that deny them pleasure and self-acceptance. This is not okay. We need to love ourselves fully, in every way, and embrace pleasure as a natural, empowering part of life.
Q: When it comes to the business of sexual wellness specifically, what do you hope to achieve in the year ahead in your own business?
Cotie: I develop products with purpose. Femme Flexor is a gift to this world, designed to fill a critical gap in the market. It is the ONLY patented design of its kind, empowering users to connect with their strength anytime, anywhere—without reliance on electronics. This brand is about intentional connection, about tuning into your own body in a way that feels natural and empowering.
By removing fear and educating people on their basic anatomy, we reveal the need for a simpler, more intuitive way to explore and embrace intimate wellness. – Wanda Cotie, Femme Flexor Founder
Q: There is so much variety and range within the wide range of sexual wellness. Here at STIMULATE, we define this as “head to toe, young to mature, purpose to pleasure”. How do you define sexual wellness?
Cotie: Sexual wellness will be having the confidence to invite and accept pleasure into your daily living. Learning to play with pleasure and feeling a deep personal connection with yourself is so important to living a full life. Orgasm is essential to good health. You are what you eat, absorb and feel.
Q: If you could hope for one thing to change when it comes to sexual health and wellness for the next generation of professionals, what would that be and why?
Cotie: Our narrative to normalizing sex and discussions around intimacy is key. Having good sex with yourself or a partner is so important for our overall health. Pelvic floor conditions effect all people throughout their lives.
Q: You have certainly made important strides in helping to break stigma and bring accessibility to consumers to support their sexual well being and pleasure both. What challenges have you faced along the way?
Cotie: It cost me a huge amount of judgment from my peers and from people along the way. I’ve had people tell me they were scared around me—but the truth is, I was scared around them too. Faking confidence until I made it came at a price, because as I worked to unravel my own personal journey, I realized just how deeply our society suppresses the conversation around pleasure. We are not born into a world where pleasure is normalized or even expected—it is something we are taught to hide, to feel shame about.
Years immersed in the BDSM world allowed me to challenge these norms, to question the structures that dictate who gets to embrace their desires and who is made to feel ashamed. I once owned Couples Romance Stores, but after a separation, I took full ownership of my path and renamed my business Wicked Wanda’s—a bold statement that I would no longer conform to anyone else’s expectations. It was my way of claiming space, not just for myself, but for everyone seeking to understand and reclaim their own pleasure.
Q: How do you feel about the jump of sexual wellness being positioned into mainstream in recent years?
Cotie: The recent surge of interest in sexual wellness has opened the door for many who lack proper knowledge to call themselves sexual health experts. But true expertise takes time. It has taken me years to deeply understand the materials we put into our bodies—from silicone to lubricants—because not all products are created equally. Quality, safety, and ethical alignment are at the core of every brand we choose to support.
Products vary greatly, from the different grades of silicone to the ingredients in lubricants. What goes into your body matters, and not all materials are body-safe. Some products contain fillers, irritants, or low-grade materials that can do more harm than good. People need guidance in selecting what’s best for them, and that’s not something learned in a weekend course on “sex toys.”
This work requires skill, experience, and the ability to read people’s comfort levels, meeting them where they are without pressure or judgment. It takes years to develop that awareness, to foster trust, and to create an environment where people feel safe exploring their pleasure. Sexual wellness isn’t just about selling products—it’s about education, empowerment, and ensuring people have the right tools to make informed choices about their own bodies.
Q: Finally, what’s your best piece of advice for aspiring leaders within this community?
Cotie: Be prepared to lean in and learn. Spend years developing yourself as a thought leader. At 58, I am still learning how the world is changing. Don’t fake it until you make it…..Live it and be it. Be curious and kind. We are in this together.
Fantastic advice from a fantastic leader of sexual wellness! Explore more about Cotie and her recently launched Femme Flexor here.
Want to explore the Femme Flexor and other sexual health and wellness products?
Secure your spot at STIMULATE taking place August 4+5, 2025, in Nashville here.
